first day of march
wow can you believe it.
time is actually faster when you're no longer in high school
you roam around and bam.
Anywayz, today's not another depressing day (depressing enough for me to come here and revive this site)
p/s: i know probably no one i know / or don't know is looking at the screen at my post.
i'm not even famous + perks of bloggin once in a year + whatever + improve my language
But yea i'm here to talk about one of the sad part of being me
a one-year-older brother, two younger sisters is probably what some of the kids wished for.
not me.
as they say " only miss the snow when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go"
but the thought of me having to spend the rest of my life
depending.
relying.
being the most bestest friends
to my brother . is. just..... ughhh
Don't get me wrong.
i don't think i really hate him as much.
after all, he bought me a guitar.
SEE, thats the problem
(first world problem- don't judge - wait - let me finish the story)
You see.
me and my mother and all my sisters were never really taken serious by my brother and dad
we were known of being "dumb blondes" since we were born.
somehow.
its in our genes.
yup, its my mother's fault.
but she's the real deal.
Although at times i pity her for being treated as one dumb blonde but sure as hell i would join in the rest to criticize her whatever she does.
because. WHATEVER she does has NO POINT. AT ALL.
all she do/say + every words that come out from her mouth is completely useless
and never fails to piss people off.
That is why sometimes i also wish dad had a divorce so he wouldn't suffer the consequences of his choice.
but then again. thank god he loved her. (so i get to be born -another dumb blonde kid)
p/s i still love her.
Anyway, this is the main story.
As i grow older, i tend to be so so so (secretly) competitive with my brother.
Everyone likes him.
Everyone prefers him.
Almost whatever he does seem so wise, mature, nice, not-selfish, reliable.
Him being that. so likeable and vulnerable to the family.
makes me feel rather. jealous.
Part of me thinks he's a hypocrite
and as i grow up i find that true.
but as i grow even older .
somehow after his national service.
i'm starting to actually/ literally think he's nice and i respect my family's choice of him as the better kid.
But.
there's always a but.
at times, he's always this asshole who thinks because he's that kid.
the attitude's there.
the cocky. think-im-the-wisest attitude IS there.
example,
when i first learned to drive in his accompany (tutor)
i actually didn't know i had to stick to the left lane.
(OKAY) i know yes thats why i say the "dumb blonde" gene is in me.
and we came back to home after the "tutor"
every words that came out of his mouth is pure humiliation.
pure insults.
pure criticism.
complete words that someone would say to make them seem a lot better at it.
just because he is A YEAR OLDER.
he have drove for a year.
he knows it slightly better than me
and simply just cause my parents were there
There it goes.
with every other similar opinions and comments from the rest of the family
after what the favourite kid said.
So yup.
Since 12
never have i ever tried so hard to be a better person
because i wanted to be respected.
i want to be taken seriously.
i don't want to be a dumb blonde like my mother.
i tried in terms of doing the house works.
>succeeded in being the best house cleaner kid
yet.
not being appreciated.
Since then,
every single time simply a cup that is left over at night that i've forgotten to wash
my fault.
every single cup that my brother happened to somehow have the mood to wash ONE (okay maybe 2) cup(s)
his quality personality.
sometimes i think maybe its because i happen to not have a dick
and it's common sense what a female should do. - housework.
So i tried harder in other terms - studies.
I studied hard.
for every big test that's in my way.
i've sworn to myself that no matter what i have to have a better results than his'.
and so i did.
6As for upsr, 7As for pmr. and hopefully 6As for spm or more.
and to think my brother only had 3/4 As for both tests
yet still mine wasn't impressive enough
I still never gave up.
even though i know somehow
absolute nothing i can do to be a better kid than my bro.
born a dumb blonde. had mother's gene. mother's look
so right now i am rather just cooping with the life that i destined to have
and at the same time
be a better someone.
just for myself.
because one day,
when no one in the kang family is impressed like how they are to my bro.
when no one still takes me seriously
(just because im 18 now and still run around in mall but are able to write this blog (without acknowledging anyone at all))
everyone else - hopefully the whole of malaysia (lol ok that's over exaggerating but what)
would be proud
of me. Michelle Kang _lol_ as a malaysian
and infact
be impressed.
and that is when i'll stop being jealous of my brother.
wow can you believe it.
time is actually faster when you're no longer in high school
you roam around and bam.
Anywayz, today's not another depressing day (depressing enough for me to come here and revive this site)
p/s: i know probably no one i know / or don't know is looking at the screen at my post.
i'm not even famous + perks of bloggin once in a year + whatever + improve my language
But yea i'm here to talk about one of the sad part of being me
a one-year-older brother, two younger sisters is probably what some of the kids wished for.
not me.
as they say " only miss the snow when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go"
but the thought of me having to spend the rest of my life
depending.
relying.
being the most bestest friends
to my brother . is. just..... ughhh
Don't get me wrong.
i don't think i really hate him as much.
after all, he bought me a guitar.
SEE, thats the problem
(first world problem- don't judge - wait - let me finish the story)
You see.
me and my mother and all my sisters were never really taken serious by my brother and dad
we were known of being "dumb blondes" since we were born.
somehow.
its in our genes.
yup, its my mother's fault.
but she's the real deal.
Although at times i pity her for being treated as one dumb blonde but sure as hell i would join in the rest to criticize her whatever she does.
because. WHATEVER she does has NO POINT. AT ALL.
all she do/say + every words that come out from her mouth is completely useless
and never fails to piss people off.
That is why sometimes i also wish dad had a divorce so he wouldn't suffer the consequences of his choice.
but then again. thank god he loved her. (so i get to be born -another dumb blonde kid)
p/s i still love her.
Anyway, this is the main story.
As i grow older, i tend to be so so so (secretly) competitive with my brother.
Everyone likes him.
Everyone prefers him.
Almost whatever he does seem so wise, mature, nice, not-selfish, reliable.
Him being that. so likeable and vulnerable to the family.
makes me feel rather. jealous.
Part of me thinks he's a hypocrite
and as i grow up i find that true.
but as i grow even older .
somehow after his national service.
i'm starting to actually/ literally think he's nice and i respect my family's choice of him as the better kid.
But.
there's always a but.
at times, he's always this asshole who thinks because he's that kid.
the attitude's there.
the cocky. think-im-the-wisest attitude IS there.
example,
when i first learned to drive in his accompany (tutor)
i actually didn't know i had to stick to the left lane.
(OKAY) i know yes thats why i say the "dumb blonde" gene is in me.
and we came back to home after the "tutor"
every words that came out of his mouth is pure humiliation.
pure insults.
pure criticism.
complete words that someone would say to make them seem a lot better at it.
just because he is A YEAR OLDER.
he have drove for a year.
he knows it slightly better than me
and simply just cause my parents were there
There it goes.
with every other similar opinions and comments from the rest of the family
after what the favourite kid said.
So yup.
Since 12
never have i ever tried so hard to be a better person
because i wanted to be respected.
i want to be taken seriously.
i don't want to be a dumb blonde like my mother.
i tried in terms of doing the house works.
>succeeded in being the best house cleaner kid
yet.
not being appreciated.
Since then,
every single time simply a cup that is left over at night that i've forgotten to wash
my fault.
every single cup that my brother happened to somehow have the mood to wash ONE (okay maybe 2) cup(s)
his quality personality.
sometimes i think maybe its because i happen to not have a dick
and it's common sense what a female should do. - housework.
So i tried harder in other terms - studies.
I studied hard.
for every big test that's in my way.
i've sworn to myself that no matter what i have to have a better results than his'.
and so i did.
6As for upsr, 7As for pmr. and hopefully 6As for spm or more.
and to think my brother only had 3/4 As for both tests
yet still mine wasn't impressive enough
I still never gave up.
even though i know somehow
absolute nothing i can do to be a better kid than my bro.
born a dumb blonde. had mother's gene. mother's look
so right now i am rather just cooping with the life that i destined to have
and at the same time
be a better someone.
just for myself.
because one day,
when no one in the kang family is impressed like how they are to my bro.
when no one still takes me seriously
(just because im 18 now and still run around in mall but are able to write this blog (without acknowledging anyone at all))
everyone else - hopefully the whole of malaysia (lol ok that's over exaggerating but what)
would be proud
of me. Michelle Kang _lol_ as a malaysian
and infact
be impressed.
and that is when i'll stop being jealous of my brother.
-that is all
Gnight nobody
xx
No comments:
Post a Comment