imperfectness disgust me

I don't know if it's right to feel this way.

but i feel like i'm just not good enough

Look at them man, so much different than us.
they're so much better, so much responsible, and so much more of everythin.
Look at me, i'm just a piece of over-confident mess-ed up person.

Sometimes i just wanna stop myself from growing up.
things are so much better when we're kids
so much simpler, happier and naive.

July

this month, july
it's just not the same me anymore
It will never stay the same.

How influencing some words can be huh?
all i want to do is this one thing.
I just want to prove them. that i CAN.
i really can.

is it that hard?
Is it wrong to be confident?
is it wrong that i believe everything is possible?
is it wrong to insist on something i want?
is all these defined as an arrogant person?

i just want what i want, i DO listen to others.
i just don't like to limit myself or
listen to what people say especially when they say "impossible" or "can't be done"
so is all these defined as arrogant? or "chuan"?


How can i live to not please others but at the same time change to be a better person.
what does it takes to be a 'better' person?
Changing to a better person, means pleasing people isn't it?
it's so hard to live sometimes.
People will just keep judgin and judging and they'll never stop.
What happened to 'no one is perfect'?

See? so many doubts now.
i guess i just can't be the same old confident me anymore.